Some of the most important role models for children are their school teachers. Kirstie Beaven has some ideas for questions you can ask your child’s teachers about their approach to gender equality.

My school career was peppered with brilliant teachers. At a single-sex secondary I had many teachers who encouraged me with subjects from chemistry and maths to debating teams, that might have been closed off to me with less-enlightened teachers. I feel endlessly lucky that my teachers didn’t shut things down for me – that no-one ever said ‘that’s not for girls’ to me (though the definitely racist Home Ec. teacher who wouldn’t let me do the higher paper in Food Tech was discriminating against me, it wasn’t on the basis of my gender). I know this is not the case for many of my contemporaries though, and I notice it’s not always the case today as well.

I should say, I have the greatest respect for teachers. Having been raised by a teacher, and worked in various educational settings myself for many years, I fully appreciate the pressures that teachers work under and the many competing needs they have to fulfil. And most importantly, I recognise that the wellbeing of their students always comes first on their lists. So when I talk to my child’s teacher, I always try to remember that they have my child’s best interest at heart and to be respectful of their expertise. However, it is also good for teachers to know that parents are involved in their child’s learning, and care about what happens in school. If gender equality is important to both teachers and parents, it can only be a good thing. So here are a few things you can ask your child’s teachers (or your own teacher if you’re reading this and still in education, or yourself if you’re actually a teacher) to find out how they are making their classroom environment more gender equal, how you can work together on gender equality, and how you can reinforce the learning from school at home.

1 Are you studying equal numbers of men and women this year?

When I was at school, I learnt about scientists, inventors, explorers, architects, writers, artists. Right up to degree level, I would say that 95% of the people I learnt about were white men. Today, however, things have changed, or at least they are changing. There are lots of great resources that can help teachers to find brilliant role models in science, technology, art, history who are female and/or from a range of diverse backgrounds. I think if you ask your teacher they’ll already have a few examples in mind. And if they don’t, you could point them in the direction of books like Fantastically Great Women who Changed the World or sites like A Mighty Girl for some great ideas.

2 How do you make sure everyone’s voice gets heard?

I was a ‘hands up’ sort of kid at primary school. You know, the one who wriggles off their seat trying to get their hand up the highest. I’m not sure I actually said ‘pick me, pick me!’, but I might as well have done. But ‘hands up’ only really suits kids who are not only confident about learning and knowledge, but happy to raise their voice above everyone else’s. And unconscious biases in everyone (even teachers) means we don’t always pick fairly when hands go up; maybe we pick the loudest, the most wriggly or the most sensible, the most composed. And often our ideas about which child fits that are linked to gender… So ask your teacher – how do they make sure that everyone gets a turn at talking, at leading the line, at sharing their knowledge, or even at getting it wrong! You’ll most likely find that teachers have a number of strategies to do this, and some of them might be helpful at home if you have more than one child. If you want more info on alternatives to hands up, there are millions of articles online - here’s a nice one to kick you off.

3 Do you use gendered language?

This is an interesting one. I find that I frequently slip into referring to children by their gender; ‘Come on boys,’ ‘Girls, please stop yelling!’ But I would never randomly group children by any other characteristic; ‘Tall children, please stop yelling!’ ‘Come on, brown hairs.’ Take this to its conclusion and you can see that segregating by characteristics leaves a nasty taste in the mouth. And the fact we so often segregate by gender teaches kids that there is some really important difference between them, when most of us would agree that’s not really the case. So gently ask your teacher about how they refer to the kids – do they call them boys and girls a lot, or do have different pet names for girls and boys (common ones are matey, sir, sweetheart, love…), and point them in the direction of this documentary to explore the difference this can make to a classroom.

4 who takes up the space?

There’s research that shows that boys tend to take up more space in the playground than girls. In the UK this is often written off as because ‘the boys want to play football, and that needs more space.’ But plenty of girls want to play football too, and plenty of boys don’t want to play football at all. (Incidentally, I’d love to know if in the US, where football (soccer) is predominantly a girls’ sport, whether this leads to the girls just taking up all the play space all the time. I’m going to hazard a guess that it doesn’t.) I know of many schools that have a no football rule for this reason, and have heard of others school who have implemented girls-only sections of the playground. While I see where this is coming from, in a way I think this ends up missing the point. More important for me is whether the playground supervisors are encouraging mixed-gender play, and making sure the quiet forms of play aren’t sidelined. And shock, horror, there are lots of boys who like a bit of quiet play and we should be encouraging this too. Football should have it’s place in playgrounds, but everyone should be encouraged to join in if they want to, not excluded by their gender, as is so often the case. Find out if your school notices who’s doing what in the playground and also if they dip in to make sure it’s fair, or to encourage games and activities that include all the children.

5 What’s the policy on gender-based teasing and bullying?

Sometimes just asking the question can throw up some interesting conversations. Does the school have a policy on teasing and (call it by its name) bullying where gendered terms are used as an insult? When a child refers to someone as ‘a girl’ as an insult, it shows how little they think of the idea of being a girl – and it’s not just boys that use girl as an insult. This is particularly prevalent on the sports fields; ‘run/throw/play like a girl.’ I particularly hope that PE teachers (if your school has a dedicated PE teacher) are aware of this, and are leading by example. It’s vital that people in positions of power are tough on bullying and discriminatory language, and this is one sort of discrimination we too often let slip through. I just wish someone had had this conversation with our Prime Minister’s teacher.