What's in a name? Unisex names for boys…
Unisex names for boys?
In Issue 18 of the magazine we delve into the top names of 2023, and ask where are the nature inspired boys names?
Names are controversial. Every parent has experienced at least a moment of anxiety on choosing a name for their baby, and then once it’s all decided, the big reveal can be just as uneasy. Look out for eye rolls, discreet sighing or shock, followed swiftly by ‘ooh that’s unusual/ becoming so popular/ old-fashioned/ sweet/ bold’.
The best answer? ‘Perfect.’ But that’s rare, because names are as subjective as they come.
Oliver and Olivia still topping the name charts in 2022
Oliver and Olivia are still topping the baby name charts as they have been for the past ten years or so. This got me thinking — Oliver and Olivia are two sides of the same coin. They are basically the same name. Yet, scrolling through Instagram birth announcements, I still see boys’ names described as ‘strong’ and girls’ names as ‘gorgeous’, instantly defining the stereotypes that will dog these sweet babes for a lifetime. It made me wonder if genderless names would help, if they would change or challenge the status quo?
Here in the UK, both boys and girls were named Bobbie/Bobby/Bobbi, and Harper is now ranked 28 for girls from having been steadily trundling along as a unisex name. Harry is still in the top ten for boys — how many of the 882 girls called Harriet are going to also be called Harry? What about number 20 in the girls’ list (Charlotte) and number 12 in the boys’ (Charlie)?
Are unisex names easier for girls than boys?
I notice that girls are often given traditional boys names — Bobbie, James, Dylan, Taylor, Ashley and Charlie, but boys are rarely given names thought of as belonging to girls. If you Google ‘girls names for boys’, all the hits are articles for unisex names or ‘boys names for girls’. Girls with boys’ names have always been cool — from Jo Marsh to Blair Waldorf. If someone named their daughter Oliver, I think fewer eyebrows would be raised than if they named their son Olivia.
Nature-inspired names for boys
“Would you name your son Clover? Or Fern? Willow maybe? Dove? Where are the top 100 nature- inspired names for boys? The flowers and trees? The soft, delicate names that no one bats an eyelid at?”
We want to make sure our daughters can float between the feminine and the masculine and find their own selves. We name our girls soft, delicate, flower names AND we give them the option to shorten to more ‘serious’, blunt, unisex (that is code for ‘boys’) names. But do we let the boys do the same?
Would you name your son Clover? Or Fern? Willow maybe? Dove? Where are the top 100 nature- inspired names for boys? The flowers and trees? The soft, delicate names that no one bats an eyelid at?
Under the guise of becoming less gender-stereotypical are we actually holding up the same old patriarchal rules?
Once a name becomes known as a girls’ name, parents tend to stop naming their boys it (see Marion, Allison, Lesley, Evelyn). The message is that we should all want to be strong (like a man), or serious (like a man), or powerful (like a man). A girly name might just hold you back, whether you’re a girl or a boy.
In truth, it seems all our agonising over this might be for nothing. There’s no evidence that your name has any impact at all on your outcomes. Despite the popular idea that there is such a thing as nominative determinism (where your name sets your fate), there really is no link between your name and your job (sorry scientists JW Splatt and D Weedon, who wrote a paper on the subject of incontinence).
“Raise a child that has the opportunity to be themselves in whatever way suits them, and it doesn’t matter if they’re called Rainbow Sparkles or Eric Bloodaxe. In the end, it’s not about the name, but the person.”
So maybe the key is, we just need to stop worrying about it. What a name means is all in our own heads. Put aside our prejudices and all names are good for anyone — just pick one you like. Whether this name is ‘strong’ enough or that one is ‘masculine’ enough for our boy is a red herring. We need to think about the messages we give to any new baby — named anything at all.
Raise a child that has the opportunity to be themselves in whatever way suits them, and it doesn’t matter if they’re called Rainbow Sparkles or Eric Bloodaxe. In the end, it’s not about the name, but the person.
Written by Hayley Grove & Kirstie Beaven , Illustrated by Hannah Raymond Ink & Tot.
Read more in Issue 18: Role Models & Role Play
